Caw! Caw! Caw caw caw!
That's crow for, "Oh glorious jewel! Oh bright bauble! You are the gilded mirrors in which I view the many aspects of my life's dark purpose."
Maybe just leave the loot and slowly back away.
Fly the skies of cupidity with July's Prestidigital bundle, which includes illustrated digital assets for you to download and use during your next shiny session:
An exclusive One Page RPG by Oliver Darkshire, where you play a crow and dance the fine line between a bird in the hand and straight up murder
Unusually Clever Corvids monster card
Crow's Nest Cache loot table, if you can manage to reach that high
The Murder Most Fowl bundle includes .pdfs of a one-page rpg, a monster stat block, and a loot table.